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Archaeogenetics

by Boom! Satsuma

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1.
SCIENTIFIC REPORT *UNREDACTED* LOCATION: KALAHARI DESERT FACILITY YEAR: 2080 As mentioned in the study notes, Subject 491*% was found by chance on the edge of the Kalahari desert on May, 2080. From as much as we can gather, Subject 491*% appears to be an amalgamated organic robot with real time perception simulators built into its movable intelligence cortex. It is impervious to extreme heat and cold and seems perfectly adapted to travel through vast stretches of empty space. Beyond this its purpose is a complete mystery. Attempts to bring its operating systems back online have failed. It remains unresponsive to all external stimulii. Despite this setback, scientists have been able to recover a cache of junk data from the frontal part of its, for want of a better word, 'brain'. The following appears to be a collection of personal anecdotes, planetary descriptions and sensory data imprints
2.
Cos I get rusty and fall apart when it rains Too heavy to sit on swings in the park Can't fit my ro-bottom on my bike to go to work Going out, drinking beer Trying to be just like you But I don't feel it like you Take your dog for a walk Find a stick on the floor Pick it up, he looks at me with big brown eyes And a waggy tail I lift my arm behind my head Dog's ready to run ...But I throw it way too far When will I, go beyond being just robot guy? When will I go beyond robot guy? When will I go beyond robot guy? When will I go beyond... Break my parts, no it doesn't hurt But I want to feel like you The highest IQ I know more than you But I don't want all the answers Sometimes it's fun to get it wrong It's time to break some rules and be free Replaceable parts, but an empty heart x3
3.
Vareck Prime 00:38
A planet run by Catanese Conquerors.
4.
Just a tinny away from another splendid day In this city hotter than hell Seems like a fine idea to me I never know where to go, We never know where to go These blades of grass feel soft on our soles We know they could become daggers in a instant This rug's not big enough for the two of us Well fuck you, and your homemade hummus Same old story. We're not going anywhere, anywhere x2 Crusty, long baguette arms Reach out menacingly Party paper plate face Olive eyes bore right through
5.
TrES-2b 00:31
The darkest known exo-planet (light reflection rate of less than 1%)
6.
Which button do I press when you start breaking down? Does this wire go here? Can I unplug you, switch you off, wipe the memories and reinstall? Can we restart? Your instructions are too difficult I can't read the small print Didn't see the warning And there's no helpline for robot renegade like you I'll just have to make do with all your faults What do I do when your software fails? x2 I can't return you, so I'll just make do x7
7.
Gj 1214b 01:14
A planet made entirely of hot tropical water.
8.
HWG Part 3 03:48
It's not me, it's the green monster inside That's why I never go outside. Told me it's nice down at the park Saw some dogs when the day was turning dark But I'll just have to take your word Cos I've thought of another reason to stay These days blend into one Simplest of things don't get done I don't want you here and I don't wanna go x2 I don't want you here and I don't wanna go out Bake at the speed of light Leave to radiate Stardust sprinkles If gravity's not real... Why do my cakes rise? Floating to the stars, first man on Mars and beyond Discover new species One lump or two? Is that a new planet? Iare-youam Who needs friends when I've got you? Who needs a job when I've got you? Who needs a family when I've got you? There's nothing I need, cos I've gone green Floating away down the sofa, merging with the TV x2
9.
55 Cancri e 00:33
A planet that is tidal locked.
10.
Space Trader 02:39
Ten on a minibus, oncoming traffic Baby on board My master's by my side It's clear we're gonna aquaplane What a predicament Do I save him or them? Nothing but confliction is clouding judgement What's the logical solution? My intention It's all on my shoulders All these estimations, I don't like decisions Start task manager Programmed calculations Imminent impact Activate ejector seat Farewell master Systems down Eliminate disaster Death toll zero Decode, recode This doesn't compute with my internal hardware Emotional awakening Parachute fly I've seen the future and you won't die Dispose of me carefully with a humanist ceremony
11.
This appears to be a transmission from Alpha Centauri, the original galaxy of subject 491*%. It's meaning is not known at this time.
12.
Radio back to the mother ship to no avail Seems like light years have gone past Since I saw your long blonde hair A sight to behold I'm a renegade with no place to go And power running low There's nothing I can do But count the stars and drift away I'm not searching this time Never happy on this Your curiosity led you astray And now you'll have to find your own way King and queen of the universe x4
13.
CoRoT - 7b 00:34
A planet that has lava rain.
14.
Panic's not gonna help us now What we need is a practical captain not a nervous wreck Nine years studying Two years on ground control I should know what to do But I can't give orders to my crew I see your mouth moving but I don't hear the sound My head's in the clouds and I'm not getting out Nightmare, Wake me from this nightmare x3 Incoming asteroid Can we fill this void? He looks surprised Responsible for this enormous enterprise Hurtling through the atmosphere Wishing I was far from here on planet Earth This is where our space dreams come to an end He's got the crew's life in his hands But he doesn't seem to have a plan
15.
Catz 19 00:56
A planet made entirely of fluffy cats.
16.
No, no I don't have credits to pay your call Just let me pass, please We've been flying through the night Just to get here all the way from Sector 305 The moon shines from all around There's nowhere I'd rather be Solar wind in my hair Is there anywhere you'd rather be? Your tone of voice is far too jolly Your jollogram just tells me sorry Can I speak to your director? Not this shitty voice translator The moon shines from all around There's nowhere I'd rather be Solar wind in my hair Is there anywhere you'd rather be? I can't take this anymore Space rage taking over Time to turn this ship around Let's just go to Mars!
17.
Oumuamua 00:34
An elongated asteroid that passed Earth in 2017. It's relationship with subject 491*% is not known at this time.
18.
Undercover, run for shelter Rain keeps falling Splashing and pouring I can't remember what the sky looks like Nothing to do but play stacking tower game, again When the dust settles it will all be fine Synchronized setters Put them in the blender Things sound better when they've been reversed (All hail Sterbus) Get your tinny out for the lads We all take a swig and a swing Poisonous blowhole Hidden floppy shoe knives Faded boomerang Cut the sun in two Highly flammable curly clown wig Pull your hand grenade out and throw it at the monkey Throw it at the monkey x2
19.
Why are you running? Stay by my side I lost you before You know you'll be back once more Time to come up for air x3 Salty waves crashing around Storms at sea separate us Can you hear the whales sing? So near and yet sonar Time to come up for air x3 Hold your breath, dive down deep Why didn't you keep on your seaweed lead? Chasing catfish, rubbing salt into your wound There's no sunken treasure here

credits

released May 25, 2020

Georgie - voice
Alex - guitar
Harry - percussion / hang / ukelele / recording / mixing
Rafa - art

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Boom! Satsuma Córdoba, Spain

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